Pregnancy-related stretch marks are a genetic reality in my family. My mom, who birthed five babies, has them, as did her mother, and I knew the chances were good that I would get them too.
When I was pregnant with my first baby I remember using all of the creams and oils on the market to keep my belly constantly moisturized. It was all going well into the third trimester but just when I thought I might have dodged the stretchmark gene, they showed up around week 35. Boom! New ones seemed to appear daily and they zigzagged their way across my belly in a few short weeks.
It’s been nearly 12 years since I’ve worn a bikini in public thanks to those marks. I wasn’t overly bothered though. I sort of shrugged off my bikini-wearing days by convincing myself that a one-piece suits my body better and, anyway, now that I was a mum I should probably be a bit more conservative. I also figured I was doing everyone else a favour by covering up my belly scars.
But then… I was talking to a friend the other day as we were sitting on the beach, and I was complaining about how tight my one-piece suits were getting on my pregnant belly. When she suggested I wear a bikini, I told her I hadn’t worn one in 12 years due to my stretch marks… and she looked at me like I had just made the most stupid remark she had ever heard. I could almost see the respect she once held for me evaporate into the balmy summer air. And she said, ‘as the mother of two girls, I would really expect that you would have a healthier body image – even just to set a better example’.
Wow. I had never even really thought about it like that before. Here I was, covering up a part of my body that I felt insecure about. I was hiding a perfectly natural effect of pregnancy rather than accepting my body and sending a better message to my girls (and boys) about loving their bodies and embracing all of their features, even what we perceive as ‘imperfections’.
Of course we all have insecurities in some form or another, and surely we all have parts of our bodies that we would change if we could… but my friend was right: in trying to hide our bodies (or to attempt to ‘fix ‘ them with creams, lasers or injections), what kind of message are we sending to our children? Shouldn’t we be leading by example, showing our kids that every body is a beautiful body? That confidence and gratitude are the feelings we should associate with our bodies, not embarrassment or shame?
Easier said than done, I know. But… I bought myself a bikini last month and have worn it to the beach a few times already. My kids were actually excited by this new attire and even proud to have a pregnant mama in a bikini.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about this. Do you have stretch marks? Do you see them as a badge of honour for the babies you’ve carried or do you try to keep them hidden away? How do you teach your kids to accept their bodies?
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