I have always really enjoyed the social aspect of pregnancy. I love that a baby bump seems to break down barriers between people, making it easier for strangers to strike up conversation. Pregnancy provides an easy talking point, and one that many people can relate to and enjoy speaking about.
Personally, I love talking about my baby bump and am always happy to answer questions about my experience, the baby’s gender (we don’t know), my body, my birth plan, etc. It is one of the few times in your life where it is socially acceptable to talk about such things, and I genuinely enjoy it.
However, there is also a downside. Some people share opinions or ask questions that make you doubt yourself or your body. In the last week alone, I’ve heard ‘oh, you’re so low, you must be due very soon’ or ‘not long to go now?’ followed by looks of surprise when I explain I still have two months until my due date. This being my fifth baby, I’m pretty secure about my body (I always carry low and my belly has always been quite big at this stage of pregnancy!), but I imagine that if it were my first baby, I might start to worry. Is this baby too big? Will I go into labour early? Should I be worried?
My mom told me that, unlike me, she was always very small in pregnancy, hardly showing a baby bump until the final weeks. People would constantly make worrying comments about her size and the health of her babies, and yet she had five normal sized babies!
I love that pregnancy unites women and encourages others to share their experiences. It can be a wonderful opportunity to learn from and be empowered by other women. But sometimes, hearing other women’s experiences can instil fears or doubts about our own. I have found that pregnancy can be a time where you generally feel more vulnerable, and the last thing you need when you’re pregnant is any additional doubts about your body and your ability to give birth. With each pregnancy I’ve gotten better at disregarding worrying advice or comments and having faith in my body and the very natural, beautiful process of pregnancy. But I know, it’s easier said than done.
A funny thing happened to me the other day that is too good not to share. I was standing in the queue for the women’s toilet at a local restaurant. It was a busy evening and there were many of us waiting. The women standing behind me mentioned my baby bump and asked me how long I had to go. She looked at me in shock when I told her I still had another two months… and then continued to tell me that she had three friends in the past month that had experienced orgasmic births. I have heard about orgasmic births – after all, Ina May Gaskin is my hero and I’ve read all her books – and while I think it would be incredible to experience this, I know how unlikely it is and have never given it much thought. I explained to the woman that I’ve had four children and I couldn’t imagine an orgasmic birth, hoping to put an end to the conversation, but she saw this as an invitation to explain in detail all of the mechanics of achieving an orgasmic birth, while putting her body into funny positions, itemising the intimate female anatomy involved and relaying her friends’ experiences. This all took place in the presence of an equally shocked and amused audience of strangers. Ahh, the things people say to pregnant women!! Haha.
I’d love to hear your experience with this. Have you received unsolicited advice or comments and how have you dealt with it? Please share below.
Courtn
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